Full-Time Training - Testimonies

These Precious Years, Ira Hsu

These precious years in the Full-Time Training in Anaheim (FTTA) have been a time set apart for me to gain the Lord with my whole being, and a time for the Lord to gain me wholly (Philippians 3:12). Before coming here, I could say that I belonged to the Lord, yet so much of my heart was occupied by vain pursuits and empty dreams. During these two years in the FTTA, I have touched more reality than the rest of my entire life. There is so much of Christ I have gained here and so many things I have been emptied of, and the Lord has been faithful to my commitment of two years to Him to accomplish a tremendous work in me.

I grew up in a Christian home and attended church meetings regularly throughout high school and college. My family life was strong, loving, and strict, and my brothers and I were well-disciplined kids. I knew God was real, and I had some definite experiences of Christ growing up. Yet, throughout high school and college, I still experienced many failures and defeats related to my life with the Lord, and I knew that, to an extent, my Christian life existed just as an outward shell with a mere lining of reality. Most of my daily life as a Christian was hollow and empty as far as spiritual experience was concerned. I knew the Lord from attending meetings and listening to messages, but beyond this I had little personal contact with God. I spent my days going about minding my own business, not allowing Christ to make His home in my heart (Ephesians 3:17). When going to college, sometimes I would wake up and wonder how I could still be called a believer. Yet the Lord kept me and drew me to Himself in spite of myself, and I began the Full-Time Training in Anaheim in the fall of 1999.

Matthew 5:3 states, “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of the heavens.” Witness Lee, in the Life-Study of Luke, describes being poor in spirit as being unloaded. The Christ I had believed into is so rich and universally vast, but I was so occupied with other things. The FTTA not only began a process of filling me with the riches of Christ (Ephesians 3:8, 19), but it also began a process of unloading my being so that I would be able to receive and apprehend much more. I had so many concepts, of both God and man, and these led to thoughts that blocked and frustrated my enjoyment of the Lord, making my life miserable. I had concepts about my peers at the FTTA, concepts of what spirituality was, and even concepts of what a good meeting was. These concepts limited my experience of the Lord and had to be stripped away so that I could realize Christ as so much more.

As one who is graduating soon, I realize how much my being has been unloaded while at the FTTA. I have gained a portion of Christ that could not have been gained otherwise. It is also true that I have lost what would otherwise be very difficult to lose in two years. I have lost much self-pride and ambition. I have lost numerous misconceptions about God and His people. I have lost so many things that held me back from realizing Christ in my daily walk. These precious years at the FTTA have brought me into a deeper, richer living with Christ as my reality, and I love and trust Him now more than ever before.

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